..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
