I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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