she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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