and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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