I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
