New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize