Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't think brook has ever known best
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
