There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
