He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
