my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
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he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
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Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize