i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
