Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
