ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
