I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it's like heaven, but drunker
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
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