idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
