I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
