Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
