PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
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Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
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your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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