I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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