After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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