we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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