I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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