someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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