She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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