That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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