...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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