It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
