I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
