Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
