I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize