Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
