I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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