either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
