So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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