Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize