U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize