Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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