youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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