Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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