I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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