I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
