so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
