what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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