dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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