I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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