She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i think i have two assholes
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
