If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
