as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
