I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
