i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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