Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
