Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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