is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I currently don't understand fingers.
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