Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
