Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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