Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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