imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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