the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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