I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize