you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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